Bwahahahahahahaha...... Dude, this is funny shit- kinda like the old Richard Pryor skit about 11 o'clock.

Why not just have the wee nippers under 24/7 lock-down except to go to school? That would solve all the problems. Or better yet, officially turn Somerville into a child-free community, like some of those places in Florida? Think of the tax savings- no more schools, no more playground to maintain, and except for the drunks puking at 1:30 in the morning, blissful silence.