Don't you think this hilarious rap song (http://music.metafilter.com/2380/Punch-Em-In-The-Dick-NSFW-lyrics) would be perfectly appropriate to listen to while contemplating phallic produce?
You might also be interested to read about a somewhat-related phenomenon called ice spikes (http://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/icespikes/icespikes.htm)
a rap song made for this thread
You might also be interested to read about a somewhat-related phenomenon called ice spikes (http://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/icespikes/icespikes.htm)