...how exactly does Somerville "mollycoddle" children?

You mean having public schools and crossing guards? That's kind of typical.

I guess it's possible for there to be people out there who hate children and families, but in that case, you're living in the wrong place.

Might I suggest a nice trailer park reitrement community in Florida?

You don't have to pay property taxes to fund public schools in a mobile home in Florida, and with all the grumpy old people around, I'm sure there will be plenty of company for talking about those dang kids these days.