ext_272535 ([identity profile] anomie666.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] davis_square2008-07-29 12:45 pm
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Davis Square hypothetical ice cream flavors

My friend [livejournal.com profile] hellgirl13 sent me an email that I'd like to post. Her LJ is blocked from work and her home computer is acting up. I got her permission to post what she wrote here:

So, I ate my lunch and was perusing the Wicked Local Somerville Blog and came across an entry that asked, "If Somerville was an ice cream, what flavors would it be?"

Here's my answer:

Tuft's Frat Boy Fudge Swirl (sold only in Davis Square on Friday and Saturday nights during the school year. May leave an aftertaste of cheap beer on the palate.)

Sanctuary Soft Serve (We refuse to tell you what's in it, what flavors it's available in or where it can be purchased, so go away you fascist pigs!)

Organic, Artisan, Vegan, Caffeine Free Mocha Tazo Crunch (made with all natural, organically grown ingredients and sold for 200 dollars a pint.
.01% of all proceeds donated to charity. Container made of recycled toilet paper. No animals were harmed in the typing of this message.)

Guinness Float (We took the "root" out of the "root beer float"! Best served with a side of pickled fish or shepherd's pie. Only sold at local pubs, found on every corner.)

Plain Vanilla (Another Davis Square special made popular after skyrocketing rent drove out everyone except those who had already paid their homes off, students who have no troubles living 15 to a 500 square foot apartment or wealthy, Caucasian upstarts...none of whom bring any true spice or bold flavor to an area. In fairness, vanilla is a lovely additive in it's own right, used in just about every recipe known to man and most consumers find it quite inoffensive.)

[identity profile] closetalker11.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Ice Cream Not Bombs: A raspberry sorbet that comes with a free pamphlet.

Greenpeace Green Tea Frozen Yogurt: it's just lobbed at you from the T station whether you wanted it or not.

[identity profile] firepail.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
ha!
I just thought the same thing!
[obviously]

[identity profile] closetalker11.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 05:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Haha!! I was wondering when you'd show up to this party.

[identity profile] firepail.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I was working or some such nonsense.

[identity profile] sonofabish.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I was scrolling down to see if someone was going to have a burrito flavor...

Also, would these flavors be available as Dildo Pops for the lovely ladies at Diesel?

[identity profile] firepail.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Burrito Crunch ice cream: Guaranteed to induce sounds in you that drown out airplane noise. Made with organic milk and Anna's burritos. Crunch naturally derived from hippies.

[identity profile] etana.livejournal.com 2008-07-29 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
it's just lobbed at you from the T station whether you wanted it or not
I laughed and chocked on a caramel.

[identity profile] closetalker11.livejournal.com 2008-07-30 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
:) It was my personal fave.