A concern regarding a previous post

[molyflogs.livejournal.com]

Please, forgive me if this is out of line, and by all means, feel free to delete it or ask me to. I'm really not sure if this is appropriate or not, so I'm going for it and hoping for the best.

A couple of days ago, I posted to the community offering a few coupons and a sample of infant formula that I got in the mail, but do not want. I know and understand that breast feeding is a hot button issue with a few people, and I expected a little discussion. That's fine and good.

What I did NOT expect was four separate PMs from people essentially telling me that I am an awful person for offering to give these things to people, rather than throwing them away. Well, one of them wasn't quite so... vicious, and instead URGED me to just throw them away, but in the others, I was called everything from a "formula company shill" to an "anti-feminist" to "a person who clearly finds no value in the bond between a mother and her baby."

Come on, people. I'm nothing more than a woman who is 38 weeks pregnant, received something in the mail I thought someone else might find some value in, and thought I'd do something nice by offering to pass it on to someone who might need or want it. I really DO appreciate those of you who sent me supportive messages, offering lactation consulting or referral to such a service, should I need it. I, however, think it's pretty out of line for people to jump down my throat over what was nothing more than what I thought was a nice freebie to someone who wanted it, given that I did not have any use for it.

I'm sorry if my posting the other day offended anyone. It wasn't my intention. That said, some of the responses I received were wholly out of line, and I urge you to think about what you're actually saying to someone, in the context in which is it being said before you jump down their throats and make them feel like they're doing something wrong over something as small as some coupons.

Comments

[kpht.livejournal.com]

Holy goddamn craphole, what a bunch of turds.

I struggle every month to pay for formula for my 7 month old, and I'd have gladly taken it if I was at all close to you. I would LOVE to know who said to throw them out, because I would like to punch that person in the face. There are a lot of broke people out there just trying to make ends meet.

I can't breastfeed this child because I had a series of emergency surgeries when he was a month old, and because I was knocked out and in the hospital away from him for like 4 days over the course of a month, my supply tanked and I had no choice but to formula feed. I really had a great time breastfeeding my first until 17 months when I was pregnant again.

I would love to know who said these things only to call them out on it. Who the hell has time to be up in someone else's grill in the first place? Dang.

[bombardiette.livejournal.com]

THIS THIS THIS.

I fully intended and expected to exclusively breastfeed but failed - and my lactation consultants all agreed that it wasn't through lack of trying or doing the right thing. I WISH someone had been giving away this stuff at that time.

Also, to all of those POS's who said this stuff to the OP - INFANTS WHO ARE ADOPTED ARE FORMULA FED. OMG this makes me so angry. I'm so sick of this nazi debate. So. Sick. Of. It.

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

What makes me angriest about molyflogs receiving those nastygrams is that she'd already said she was planning to EBF! Really, there are people have nothing better to do than attack a person who plans to do EXACTLY what the sender wants them to be doing??? It seems like that sort of behavior is more likely to make someone go against you than cause anything good to happen.

While I do think that the samples and such that the formula companies send out result in greater use of formula than if they didn't send 'em (which is why they do it, of course) and I don't support the unsolicited mail, I don't actually believe that offering to give them away has any negative impact since in that case, the people who take them were already planning to use it. I think of it as a positive since it's that many fewer dollars someone is giving the companies. The potential harm is when formula is pushed on people who *didn't* want it, not when it goes to those who need it. Big f'in difference.

I did, btw, keep one of the small cans as a mental comfort of sorts, but I haven't used it. It's up to each individual to decide whether having it around is more likely to help or hinder their goals, because it definitely varies. I think the private nastygrams were wholly inappropriate but I think telling the OP that she shouldn't figure on being able to EBF successfully was also inappropriate. I know there was no negative intent in the latter sentiment, but comments like that can really affect a person's confidence which in turn can make a difference in what actually happens. (And besides, if you've only received one of those sample packages, there are still plenty more coming!)

[spacehawk.livejournal.com]

This.

[bombardiette.livejournal.com]

What makes me angriest about molyflogs receiving those nastygrams is that she'd already said she was planning to EBF! Really, there are people have nothing better to do than attack a person who plans to do EXACTLY what the sender wants them to be doing??? It seems like that sort of behavior is more likely to make someone go against you than cause anything good to happen.

And this is exactly why I call it a nazi debate. It wasn't enough that the OP was planning to EBF - but she was encouraging others (in the minds of these detractors) to NOT EBF and therefore, must be brought back in line to go with the rest of the group-think.