I meant to write (or speak) to you about this last time you posted, so I'll mention it now...
I think your writing style and tone are too professional/commercial in nature for this setting -- the *mismatch* gives it a spammy feel to it. I'd recommend looking at how other local businesses represent themselves in this and similar communities.
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Re: Primarily rooted in the Davis Square area
Date: 2010-06-01 06:03 pm (UTC)I think your writing style and tone are too professional/commercial in nature for this setting -- the *mismatch* gives it a spammy feel to it. I'd recommend looking at how other local businesses represent themselves in this and similar communities.