Introduction: I'm a life coach for women, opening an office in Davis Square with individual and gro

[lifecoachmarie.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone. I'm just introducing myself. I am Marie Wetmore, a life and career coach for women – and I am new to the Davis Square community. I'm opening my office on Thursday, February 21st and will be kicking off two new six week workshops for women: a work-life balance series and a Women's Success Boot Camp. I'm looking forward to meeting you all and you are all welcome to join in on my workshops or just say hi. 83

Comments

[twilighttremolo.livejournal.com]

I'm curious... why are these workshops for women only?

[enhf94.livejournal.com]

May I ask a challenging-and-respectful question? Can you help me understand why someone would hire a life coach instead of a licensed professional with standardized training, such as a clinical social worker, clinical/organizational psychologist, or occupational therapist?

To learn more, I looked up "life coach" on wikipedia, and found this: "Critics contend that life coaching is akin to psychotherapy without restrictions, oversight, regulation, or established ethical policies." I must admit this view is my starting point, but I am ignorant, and open to being educated.

Is there a life coach code of ethics? Do life coaches have to have malpractice insurance? Are training institutions accredited by an overseeing, governing body?

[lifecoachmarie.livejournal.com]

These are very important questions and it makes sense that you're asking them. Since coaching is on the cutting edge, a lot of people aren't as familiar with them as they are with the concept of the therapist (although that was a new profession at one point as well).

Yes, coaches do have a code of ethics, as described by the international Coach Federation (ICF). I don't know if all life coaches have malpractice insurance, but I do. A good coach would get training from coach training programs accredited by the ICF. There are sadly some less than thorough coach training programs with quite minimal education offerings, so that is something you want to check up on when you are shopping for a coach.

So then to your question of hiring a life coach verses a social worker or a therapist. Counselors and therapists do very important work with mental health issues like depression, anxiety disorders, trauma, and the like. Life coaches do not work on these things.

Life coaching is entirely different. A life coach is for people who want to accomplish some sort of important personal goal, get more out of their life, improve their lifestyle, do better in their career, etc. Think Tony Robbins. It's about achievement, making things happen for yourself, and getting in the driver's seat of your life. A major part of my work is helping people clarify what they really want and then figure out the strategies for getting it. It helps people take action and stay accountable to their goals.

In terms of critics, there will always be critics for any new emerging field – and of course all established fields. I guess all I can say is to use your own judgment. I imagine that, like all professionals, the best measure of the coach’s work is the results they get and what their clients are saying about them.

Note: I edited this reply in response to the very insightful replies I got from my first version. Thanks all!

[lifecoachmarie.livejournal.com]

Some women just prefer women's groups, and there are some challenges that simply tend to weigh more heavily on women – so it's nice to focus on them. Also, I specialize in coaching women, so that's what I consider my expertise. I certainly am not doing it in the spirit of being exclusionary to men (I've coached many men in the past and certainly will continue to do so).

[aislingk15.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the patient way that you are responding to people's queries - I imagine that you must get challenged a lot to defend what you do and the general field of life coaching. I also respect that there is a difference between the types of issues that would prompt someone to seek out more traditional therapy and the issues that would be more suitable for life coaching.

That said, I wonder if you might not use phrases like "normal, healthy person" and "normal, well-adjusted people" to describe those who would seek out life coaching, implicitly setting up a contrast from the people you describe in the previous paragraphs would have a mental health issue, depression, anxiety, relationship issues, etc. that led them to seek out psychological help.

I genuinely don't think you meant to suggest anything negative, but this just struck me as distressing when I read your post.

[freetobeme18.livejournal.com]

As someone with bipolar disorder who also considers myself to be "healthy" and "well-adjusted", I agree with this 100%. I don't think you meant anything of it, but it does imply that people with mental illness who are in therapy (or seeking therapy) are not healthy or well-adjusted, and this might turn away people who have mental illness or have friends or family with mental illness. I've seen life coaches myself in the past, in conjunction with therapy, and found it to be very helpful (especially since my life coach and therapist at the time communicated with each other about my progress). I wouldn't agree that life coaching is not for people with mental illness, although I do agree that people with mental illness should also be in therapy in addition to any complementary treatments like life coaching. I don't know if it is best in terms of marketing for you to be outright turning away people with mental illness, unless you genuinely feel that you do not have the training and experience to be able to help them (in which case, I urge you to think of a kinder way of explaining this).

[lifecoachmarie.livejournal.com]

First of all, I want to thank you for recognizing my good intentions, I certainly did not mean to imply anything negative about people who have a mental illness. I myself overcame anxiety, and worked with both a life coach and a therapist at the same time. I worked on the anxiety with a therapist, and my other goals/changes with a life coach. I think the combination was just perfect.

I simply wanted to point out that therapy does treat mental illness and life coaching does not – by no means did I mean to imply that there is something wrong or not healthy with having a mental illness. It seemed like the root of the original question was related to the assumption that some people have that a life coach is trying to do psychotherapy, but without the training. Perhaps it was better to say that life coaching does not treat depression, etc. as opposed to does not work with people who have depression. Really, again it's about making change, getting on the driver's seat, accomplishing goals, and creating the best life possible for yourself. And everyone deserves that :)

[freetobeme18.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your clarification! Yes, I do get that your intentions were good, I was just pointing out that the way you phrased it might be construed in a negative way. As someone mentioned above, thanks for your patience in replying to the comments. I know that life coaching, as with a lot of lesser known helping professions, gets a lot of flack, so it must be hard to face that kind of criticism. I've had to face criticism even just admitting that I had a life coach!

[lifecoachmarie.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I appreciate the feedback and went ahead and changed that original response. To your other point, you'd be surprised how little I hear criticism about life coaching. I think the field is finally becoming mainstream enough that people are More and more familiar with it. If anything, most people say something like, "0h! I need that!" whenever they hear about coaching.

[littlecitynames.livejournal.com]

While I think this is a good answer, counselors and therapists are totally competent in working with people without mental health issues also. And yes, they have way better training and oversight.

[koloratur.livejournal.com]

Thanks for saying this - it bothered me as well.

[lifecoachmarie.livejournal.com]

Thanks Felicita. I think that therapists do wonderful, important work and so do life coaches. Personally, I love being a life coach and I'd loved every single experience I've had in which I've been coached.

Since a lot of people seem to have questions about coaching, I'll just say that my work stands for itself, I do my work with integrity, and I'm proud every time a client tells me I've changed her life.

How about I offer this to everyone here who has been commenting or following along: if you're not sure whether life coaching is right for you, try a session on me for free. If you like it, awesome. If it's not for you, we part as friends. I think it's easy to misjudge anything you haven't actually experienced for yourself. And there's no substitute for experiencing life coaching. Although I've noted before that I specialize in women, gentlemen are totally welcome to take up this offer.

[littlecitynames.livejournal.com]

I'm not judging, I'm just stating two facts that people should be aware of if they're choosing between a life coach or a counselor: both can help the same people; and the level of training that counselors have is much higher and more strictly regulated.

[litia2005.livejournal.com]

I'm bothered by this as well (though it made me smile because it reminded me of an old Seinfled episode about some woman needing a "mentor" to know what to do). People who might feel the need for a "life coach" are probably on the vulnerable side to begin with. What protections are in place for them? Shouldn't they be better off developing actual friendships or going to professional therapists? What is the science behind the training of "life coaches"? And by "science" I mean actual research.

[litia2005.livejournal.com]

People are polite.

[litia2005.livejournal.com]

Excellent point, Ianicita. I'm very skeptical.
I browsed the web site a couple of days ago, and there are things like "gain confidence and freedom by taking 100% responsibility for your success". So, luck has nothing to do with one's success? Obviously, not, since we'll be taught to take 100% responsibility for our success.
Also, sorry to point this out, but that photograph creeps me out. Is that supposed to be a smile? It has fake written all over it. So, somebody who cannot even show a spontaneous smile for the main page of the we site is supposed to have the hyper emotional intelligence required to coach people?...

[lifecoachmarie.livejournal.com]

Thank you for these insightful questions. This is a very thoughtful community!

One question seems to be who shows up for coaching and is it right for them?

Coaching clients are strong people with good lives who value themselves so much that they want to get even more out of their lives and careers. And a coach helps them do that by helping them clarify what they want, identify the best strategies for them, and stick with their plans through the natural day-to-day obstacles that life throws us all.

A coach does not tell people what to do. Instead they help people use their own insight and ingenuity to come up with their own strategies, which often includes using exercises and tools, learning new skills, or doing some research on their own to figure out the next step. And I also teach self-coaching skills, so my clients can keep themselves on the fast track once we are done coaching together.

Let me paint you a picture of a typical coaching client:

– A massage therapist with a busy practice wants to develop a relaxation podcast. And she wants write a book. She's ready to kick these goals into high gear.

–A schoolteacher on maternity with her new baby. She was 100% confident she would go back to work, but now she's not sure. She wants to talk out the decision.

–An artist with two teenage children. Sales have been low and she's wondering if she should get a more traditional job. She's figuring out if it's time to give up on painting or if she can she handle the business end of her artwork more effectively.

–A woman in her 30s is looking at grad school. She already has one Masters degree which she doesn't use, so she wants to make sure her next grad program is the right one.

–A mid-level manager has been successful in her career but wants to do something that makes more of a difference. She wants to explore her options and figure out which issues she's passionate about.

– An entrepreneur whose business is taking off. But she's working long hours and she misses her friends. She wants to get organized, managed her workflow better, leave work at work, and delegate to others so she can regain relationship time.

You can see that these are people that are in the driver's seat of their lives and are ready to get laser focused on their goals.

But, as with all services, there are some people for whom coaching is not the right fit. After all, if you need surgery, you wouldn't go to your personal trainer :-)

That's why a coach will refer people on as appropriate – for example, to a personal trainer, financial planner, a spiritual leader, or, of course, a therapist.

As some have commented above, many people like getting both coaching and therapy at the same time, working on the mental health issues with their therapist and focusing on other life and career goals with the life coach. A person's therapist could help them decide if/when coaching would make sense.

Speaking of the science of coaching, I agree that it's important to use evidence-based models. That's why I use techniques that come from respected research institutions, like the University of Pennsylvania. I stay on top of the latest data.

I hope this has answered your questions. Thanks for letting me talk about coaching. I won't be in the forum for a while because I need to focus on my students and clients. Feel free to check out the ICF website, my website (http://www.lionssharecoaching.com), or contact me directly at coachme@lionssharecoaching.com. I'm always happy to have a one-on-one chat.

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