In which I sing a song for JonMon

[harrock.livejournal.com]

My creative energy has been just about zero lately, thanks to a very busy schedule at work. But I'll say this for JonMon: His Lawsuit of Mass Destruction has inspired me. My wife, firstfrost, has received a threat letter, but she is not yet named in the LMD. I'm proud of everything she has said about JonMon. I didn't need JonMon's validation to be proud of her, but data is data.

I haven't been named or threatened in the LMD (yet), and I don't mean to make light of the anxiety that it has caused in our community. In particular, if you have taken something down or remained silent thanks to JonMon's toolbox of intimidation, I want you to know that I think no less of you for it. Every situation is unique, and we all have our limits of what we can deal with right this minute. My limit is high right now, so I'm standing up.

Likewise, I respect the opinions of those who have counseled caution or outright silence. I disagree with some of your key points, and I feel that some of your arguments apply better to people who are more concerned with anonymity than I am, or who cannot afford to risk an extended legal fight. The bottom line for me is this: One of the basic functions of any community is to sound a warning when a predator is around. If we're not sure the law can handle that, then it's time to get out and push.

This song is about JonMon's Lawsuit of Mass Destruction, and it is sung to the tune of "Charlie on the M.T.A." Permission is hereby granted to $verb this song, for all values of $verb, for every human being on planet Earth with the exception of Jonathan Graves Monsarrat. No permission of any kind is willingly granted to Mr. Monsarrat. In case he hadn't noticed, that's what happens when you are in the habit of excreting on your community.

---

Let me tell you the story
Of a man named JonMon
Who would really like to have his way...
He's the internet icon
Who you can't use your Psych on
He's the man who never will learn!

  Oh, his bridges are burned
  Please don't let him return...
  'cause his lesson's still unlearn'd!
  He may scam forever
  In the Square of Davis
  He's the man who never will learn!

He used to go by JonMon
But his rep has gone creepy
What's a smooth operator to do?
When you need to sound wholesome
Though your act is still loathesome
Then I guess that "Johnny" will do.

  Oh, his bridges are burned
  Please don't let him return...
  'cause his lesson's still unlearn'd!
  He may lurk forever
  On the blogs of Davis
  He's the man who never will learn!

Johnny says he's a victim
Because people keep on talking
Of some things no court has ruled
He says "come on and prove it
Or I'll make you remove it"
He's amazed when nobody's fooled

  Oh, his bridges are burned
  Please don't let him return...
  'cause his lesson's still unlearn'd!
  First he's looking your pants off
  Then he's suing your ass off
  He's the man who never will learn!

In Johnny's world the only law
Is what he gets away with
'less it's something he can use
To club his detractors
And intimidate their backers
And escape from paying his dues

  Oh, his bridges are burned
  Please don't let him return...
  'cause his lesson's still unlearn'd!
  He will leave you disgusted
  His ways won't be adjusted
  He's the man who never will learn!

Now the citizens of Davis Square
Are standing up to Johnny
And we all know what to do
When he says that you've been served...
And whines "I'm not a perv"
Just smile, and answer "fuck you!"

  Oh, his bridges are burned
  Please don't let him return...
  'cause his lesson's still unlearn'd!
  He'll play his games forever
  In the Square of Davis
  He's the man who never will learn!
  He's the man...who never will learn!

Comments

[srakkt.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful, and really makes me wish that Honk weren't still several months away.

[ifotismeni]

[sairaali.livejournal.com]

This is great! I love that the filk keeps rolling in. We're up to five now? (one was taken down, sadly) Someone needs to make a songbook.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

[tikva.livejournal.com]

There should totally be a benefit album to cover court costs.

(Uh, not JonMon's court costs. He can sell Girl Scout cookies or whatever to cover his costs).

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

Bravo!

[moechus.livejournal.com]

Very clever and very nice but it also strikes me as needlessly and gratuously cruel (plus kicking him when he's down will doubtless make it even less likely that he ever learns). No doubt he deserves it (and a lot more) but still, I would hope that we could still treat him with some decency. As I lawyer, I have advocated a vigorous and uncompromising response to his shenanigans. But that's as a legal strategy designed to end this mess as quickly and forcefully as possible. As a human being, I urge compassion, maybe even forgiveness, regardless of his past misdeeds and whether or not he deserves it.

Lord Polonius
My lord, I will use them according to their desert.

Hamlet
God's bodykins, man, much better: use every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping? Use them after your own honour and dignity: the less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty. Take them in.

[fredrickegerman.livejournal.com]

I salute you, sir.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

This is the best thing ever! I think we should all get together and have a sing-along!

[ron_newman]

firstfrost is not Real Name'd in the lawsuit, but her LJ name is included there (on page 11).

[dcltdw]

I tip my hat to you, good sir.

[redcolumbine.livejournal.com]

Wicked funny!

[phippslaw.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say good afternoon to you all and make a few remarks.

My background:

Sadly, I heard many of the stories while this was all going on. Most from people who had first-hand information and had been to the "premises." I met and interacted with the Plaintiff in this lawsuit on a purely social level (this is not to be taken as I was a friend of his, simply that I spoke with him). I ended My involvement with him pretty rapidly, since I had a "gut feeling" he was not someone I wanted to be involved with in any way. I never saw any of the alleged activities, alleged crimes, or alleged bad behavior; though I found the sources who told me of them to be reputable and credible in my opinion (obviously, I can't personally speak to the underlying facts).

My current life:

I am an attorney located a couple of cities away from Davis sq, but I often travel through Davis on my way to the Cambridge Probate and Family court. I generally handle Family law cases (Divorce, custody, child support, paternity, and the like); Landlord Tenant cases (bad conditions, bedbugs, security deposit, last month's rent and interest issues, and evictions); and Personal Injury cases.

One of the things I tell all My clients is when you are involved in a pending suit, it is best to not create ammunition for the other side in the way of social media posts. That isn't to say, you can't say anything, but it makes sense to self-monitor the postings you make, it can keep you from being the target of any idiot with a grudge and a few bucks to hire a lawyer. Obviously, I am not referring to anyone specific with this comment. If I were to make a statement about a plaintiff, who filed a case against a person or persons, and referred to him with factual statements such as "idiot", "pervert", "child-molester" or the like I would be opening myself up to a defamation law suit. Arguably, the word idiot could be a statement of opinion (which is not defamation) but the others are pretty solidly factual statements.

This is meant as informational, I am not in any way giving anyone legal advice, except to say if you have been or anticipate being named in a lawsuit, you should find competent representation.

Have an excellent day!
Adam