We are here to protect you

[spatch]

Citizens of Davis Square: This is the MBTA. Do not be alarmed. We come in peace.

It has come to our attention that you may think that we are growing lax in our ever-vigilant quest to ensure safety, peace and prevent terrorists from blowing up our one true symbol of freedom: those creepy mime statues in Seven Hills Park and across the street in the square proper. To remedy this situation, you will all be relieved and reassured to know that we have set up a Freedom Checkpoint this morning on the fare collection level of the Davis Square T Stop.

Freedom Officers will be onhand, sitting at the special table we have set up for this purpose and also standing in front of the Charlie gates, conducting completely random and in no way arbitrary Freedom Searches of your personal possessions. This is for your own safety. It is for your own good. We cannot afford to let another domestic terrorist slip through our fingers, just like the last time when... the last time when... well, if we had let one slip through our fingers, you can bet we wouldn't let it happen again!

When approached by one of our friendly, official-looking Freedom Officers, dressed in black and toting impressive amounts of Peacekeeping Gear, please adhere to the following guidelines:

1. Do not be alarmed. This instills panic among your fellow passengers and makes you look like a suspect.
2. Say "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" to the nice officers. Using impolite language makes you look like a suspect.
3. Obligingly offer your bag, your purse, and any other personal containers you may have for inspection and explosives swabbing. What with the large amounts of explosives being shuttled through Davis Square Station on a daily basis, it is imperative we confiscate as much of it as possible. Not being obligingly compliant makes you look like a suspect.
4. Do not complain that setting a Freedom Checkpoint up at a subway station in the middle of morning rush is a waste of time, or that it's nothing but security theater. Disparaging our efforts to make sure you are safe for yourself and others is spitting in the faces of Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty, and a bald eagle, and will make you look like a suspect. And besides, being late for work is a small sacrifice to pay for national security.
5. Expect that with full compliance, a precedent will be set for more random bag searches at various checkpoints in the future, so print out a list of these guidelines and take them with you everywhere. Failure to remember that we are doing this will make you look like a suspect.
6. Don't even think about taking photographs of anything or anyone on MBTA property. Only suspects take pictures.

In short, suspects, please be reassured that we at the MBTA respect you and your freedoms highly, and it is only for your safety and security that we consider you all guilty until proven innocent. Maybe someday we will crack down on actual crimes committed on MBTA property, from the guy who sells you a copy of Spare Change only to give you a free copy of the Metro in return to the kids who make furtive drug deals underneath the staircases when they think nobody is watching, but until then, we consider you, the commuters, the monthly passholders, the riding populace, to be the suspects. You scum. We'll get you if it's the last thing we do.

And remember, if you are truly innocent, well, then you have nothing to hide... but we'll be the judge of that.


Yours,

Jack Boots
Freedom Officer at Large

Comments

[kpht.livejournal.com]

[empressov.livejournal.com]

Wait. If you post that coupon, then you're the bearer.....don't you mean the recipient?? Or are you claiming your right to a free innernet?

I confuzzeled....

[inahandbasket]

wait, really?

[veek.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding? Or did constitutionally illegal random searches actually happen?

constitution? the hell century are YOU in?

[perich.livejournal.com]

Nothing illegal about it if they ask first.

[ruthling.livejournal.com]

I guess jack boots take longer to put on than sneakers, as I was too early to see this this morning.

[thetathx1138.livejournal.com]

So, sarcasm aside, I assume they had a bag table set up after 9am this morning. I've seen this at Harvard several times but this is the first I've heard about it in Davis. I also assume they didn't bother to mention the "threat" we might be facing.

[spatch]

Actually, it was in place around 7:30 or so when I went through. The guy before me got the "Excuse me, sir, we need to see your bag" so I quietly made my way through the Charlie gate and then thought EVIL NASTY OVERTHROW OF THE STATE THOUGHTS as I walked down the stairs.

And I'm pretty sure there was no specific threat to address, and if there was, of course they couldn't tell us due to our security. It's all just so... so stupid.

[duffless2323.livejournal.com]

Darn I missed it. I always wanted to have a bag full of really weird stuff and get searched.

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That helped.

[stormsdotter.livejournal.com]

6. Don't even think about taking photographs of anything or anyone on MBTA property. Only suspects take pictures.

No, not only suspects take pictures. Art, Architecture and Photography students take pictures. So do tourists. I know this because when I was on school assignments, I was told many times not to photograph things in Boston for my schoolwork. Taking photos does not make you a terrorist.

[fluffpot.livejournal.com]

Oh awesome, taking a cue from NYC's MTA!

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

When I was living near Ashmont, they set up a checkpoint at the station one morning. I was waved through with no wanding, no searching, nothing.

Of course, I'm a nice looking white girl, and couldn't possibly be a threat to anyone.

[infinitemorning.livejournal.com]

Oh my God. Did they not see that Wayans Brothers film?! Nice looking white girls could totally be scary black guys in disguise!

[miss-chance.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's secretly a Democratic Plot! See, this makes us more conscious of the ridiculous policies and totalitarian state the Repub.s have entered us into, so by being more obvious about it (as opposed to installing micro-cameras and concealed listening devices) they encourage us all to get out and vote.

maybe?

[gee-tar.livejournal.com]

Wow. Either I was too sleepy or too much in a hurry to notice them this morning. Maybe both.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

Know your rights! (http://www.aclum.org/pdf/KnowYourRightsMBTA.pdf)

[thetathx1138.livejournal.com]

Handy, thanks! I wonder how long it'll be before people stop being stupid and realize "terrorist attacks" are in the end no real threat to America as a nation.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

[etana.livejournal.com]

I WAS WONDERING!!! Somebody tried to stop me and my dog and I had on earphones so I just thought it was another annoying "kind pedestrian" and commanded the pup around him/her. Then I heard him/her go "oh ok go ahead" as if I was waiting to be TOLD or something. My dog just kept walking the whole time, like "wtf human, step aside, working here..." but it did all seem suspect.

Good to know random cops are hanging out in the T harassing rush hour commuters for safety. I feel more secure already!

[tikva.livejournal.com]

Drummerdog = h33p b1g terrrrrrrist.

*nods wisely*

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

I wonder what would happen if I made up a large sign saying "In the Case of An Actual Terrorist Attack, You'd Be DEAD" and stood next to the nice friendly officers?

Unfortunately, I have loved ones depending on me, so maybe I won't.

[hrafn.livejournal.com]

Well, now I know to start carrying my little metal pocket-sized copy of the Bill of Rights with me again.

[soong.livejournal.com]

The attempt at satire is too thick. I have no idea what actually happened.

[spatch]

Here, let me speak in a language you might understand:

guys, does ne1 know why the police (aka pigs) were doing around the davis square T stop this morning? omg they were checking people's bags! I couldn't believe it! I was like in Russia or something! I was like "i'm not doing this" and they were like "then you're not getting on the train lol". also do you know any bars that serve folks without ID? thx in advance!

And me without my burqa

[http://users.livejournal.com/_mattt/]

I always miss these things

[miraclaire.livejournal.com]

It must have been only one side of the station... I went through on the busway side no problem.

[spatch]

It was actually on the level by the turnstiles, so both sides fed right into it. It doesn't look like they were there for long, if I saw 'em around 7:30 and others didn't see 'em by 9. But man, it was just not a way to start a Tuesday.

[ron_newman]

Wasn't still there at 11:30.

[boblothrope.livejournal.com]

A few questions, which would have to be answered to assess the effectiveness of this operation:

How many terrorists did this operation catch?

How many terrorists were deterred from attacking the T because of the possibility that these searches might occur the day they plan to attack?

How much did this operation cost?

How many people missed a train because of a search?

How many people were embarrassed because the search revealed important medical devices or other personal items which they didn't want other people to see?

How many people were arrested, threatened with arrest, or had stuff confiscated because of legal but unusual things they were carrying?


Oh, and by the way, don't forget to live in fear. Thank you for riding the T!

[diego001.livejournal.com]

Zero, zero, too much money, probably quite a few, unknown, probably quite a few.

[pushupstairs.livejournal.com]

Last week, they set this up in the underground concourse at Downtown Crossing, at the Chauncy St. end of the concourse. But not at any other entrance. Any of the other three entrances to the same station.

That's one of those times it would have been handy to have one of those good ol' "I'M WITH STUPID ==>" t-shirts.

[ron_newman]

Four, actually. There are also entrances at Temple Place (opposite the Silver Line bus stop), Filene's corner, catty-corner from Filene's (which includes the Winter St. concourse), and Franklin Street.

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

Oh good lord. I'm glad I biked today, rain and all.

[diego001.livejournal.com]

One Free Rick Astley:

[dmcgettrick.livejournal.com]

I'll wait till there is no checkpoint to bring my WMD's into the station...