davis_square | Dear person who does not clean up after his/her dog: (Reply)

Dear person who does not clean up after his/her dog:

Over the last couple of months, the streets in my neighborhood have been littered with your dog’s waste; you’re obviously new to the neighborhood because up until a couple months ago, this was not a problem. This morning I was greeted by a pile of your dog’s waste in front of my house. I therefore propose the following solution to this problem:

I am going to find out who you are, and take several pictures of you with your dog. I am then going to find out where you live. I am going to take these photos, blow them up, add your address to them, and plaster them all over the neighborhood. I am also going to take a shovel and plastic bag and am going to collect all the dog feces I can find in the neighborhood and deposit this bag of waste on your porch. Or perhaps I will simply fling the dung at your door until you figure out how to clean up after your pet.

Sincerely,
Your neighbor