My lawyer's letter to Jonathan Monsarrat's lawyers

[ron_newman]

My lawyer, Dan Booth of Booth Sweet LLP in Cambridge, sent this 18-page letter to Jonathan Monsarrat's lawyers this afternoon. The letter details all the reasons that he considers the lawsuit against me to be groundless, and demands that Monsarrat's lawyers dismiss the case with prejudice by the end of business on Thursday.

If they don't voluntarily drop the case (which they probably won't), Dan Booth will file a motion for dismissal on Monday, using mostly the same arguments that are in this letter. He may also move for sanctions against Monsarrat's lawyers "for bringing bad faith claims."

He gave me full permission to put this letter online and to distribute it in whatever way I see fit. Feel free to point other people at it or to distribute it further.

Comments

[moechus.livejournal.com]

Here's an example. It's the first draft of a letter to the consulate in China who had refused to accept a marriage as bona fide despite the wife's pregnancy (I admit that the final draft was toned down a bit, well, a lot). I've cut it in two because of LJ's limit on the number of characters.

To [the U.S. consulate in Guangzhou, China]:

I apologize for continually bludgeoning you with emails but the non-responsiveness of your boilerplate replies leaves me with little choice. I would appreciate it if, in your response to this email, you would include the word "pregnant"; that way I will at least know that you have read it.

Once again, the point I am raising is that THE APPLICANT'S WIFE IS PREGNANT. And the question I am asking for a direct answer to is HOW CAN YOU FIND A MARRIAGE THAT IS ABOUT TO PRODUCE A CHILD NOT BONA FIDE? I have considered this question and have come up with four conceivable possibilities. Perhaps if I lay them out, I will make your job easier; if one of mine is correct, you need only indicate which one.

1. You do not believe that the applicant's wife is really pregnant. But if this is true, you could easily make a phone call to Tufts Medical Center and verify the pregnancy. Why didn't you do so? By the way, I personally met with the wife the other day and let me assure you that she is either quite pregnant or wearing a pillow under her blouse.

2. You do not believe the applicant is the father of his wife's unborn child. I should note that the dates match up. The wife arrived in China on October 23 and the due date is July 24. That's 39 weeks and one day, well within the normal gestation period (which the World Health Organization defines as between 37 and 42 weeks). But if this is the case, why could you not hold up adjudication of the petition until the child is born and then get the results of a DNA test? Surely this would be better (and more humane) than the course you chose that will likely delay the applicant's reuniting with his family by a year or more.

3. You believe but the applicant got his wife knocked up but think that this was just a ruse to get a green card and that, once the application is approved, the child will be aborted, put up for adoption, or simply abandoned. If this is the case, I suggest that you retire at once while you are on top of your game. You have attained a level of cynicism beyond the reach of even the most jaded of consular officers. You will never be able to top this achievement. My advice is to quit while you're ahead.

[moechus.livejournal.com]

4. Perhaps you do not grasp the meaning of the pregnancy. You might even think that the applicant's wife is expecting a delivery from the stork. Let me enlighten you on this matter. When a man and a woman love each other, they often desire to bring a child into the world (don't ask me why--I'm nearly as cynical as you are). In order to accomplish this feat, they get together (usually, but not always, in private and without witnesses) where they perform an act of indescribable sublimity (or loathsomeness depending on your religious views). The technical term for this act is coitus but laypeople refer to it as fucking, screwing, banging or by an infinite number of vulgar terms. I will not give the details of this act (since it squicks a lot of people). Suffice it that, if they are successful, the woman's stomach gets bigger and bigger until, 37 to 42 weeks later, a baby pops out from between the woman's legs as a token of the love (or lust) that the couple have for one another.

Perhaps there is some other explanation for why you found this marriage not to be bona fide despite the pregnancy. If so, please enlighten.

Finally, allow me to point out the all but inevitable course of events following your denial. Six months or a year from now, the petition will arrive back at the Vermont Service Center, which will then issue a letter of intent to revoke the petition and permit us to submit evidence of the bona fides of the marriage. We will submit the birth certificate and a DNA test and USCIS will reaffirm the petition and send it back to you. Unless you can come up with fresh evidence that the marriage is not bona fide, you will have to approve the application and, with any luck, Mr. __ will be there in time for his child's second birthday. All you will have accomplished is to deprive a US citizen of its father for the first year or two of life and put immense hardships in the way of a family just starting out. Does this, I ask, make sense?

I therefore urge you to reconsider your decision if it is not too late and, if nothing else, hold off on final adjudication until after the child is born and we have the opportunity to prove paternity.

Sincerely yours etc.

[ron_newman]

Did you (I hope) win this case?

[moechus.livejournal.com]

I did. The consulate reversed itself and the husband was able to be there for the birth of his child but I'm not sure it was my snarky letter that did it. Congressman Capuano's office intervened (his immigration caseworker is the best I have ever known) and that may have something to do with the outcome.