kooky T drivers

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

Certain train drivers have distinctive voices. Lately I've been noticing this one guy's voice - deep and authoritative, but with a sly sense of humor.

Overheard a few days ago:

"I notice some people are leaning against the train doors."
(A bad idea for a number of reasons, right?)

"Remember, the train IS a machine... and machines do MALFUNCTION."

Anyone else have anecdotes of MBTA employees with a sense of humor?

Comments

[sifarat.livejournal.com]

That is really funny, almost threatening sounding though.

[leighjen.livejournal.com]

There is a red line operator who I hear sometimes who always says, "Next stop Haaaahhhhvvvaaahhhd," in a wonderful pretend snooty voice. :-)

[kyrene.livejournal.com]

Yes. There was this one occasion where I rode what the conductor called "The looooooove train" and kept asking if anyone was celebrating any birthdays or anniversaries. Then he announced them over the loudspeaker.

It was hilarious.

[danger-chick.livejournal.com]

Was that Green Line? I've heard of that one happening before. If that's the conductor I am thinking of he, he also has a history of telling the passengers how bored he is while doing his job.

[kyrene.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, this was definitely the Green line. The D line to be specific.

[danger-chick.livejournal.com]

OK. That makes sense. I have a friend who used to get his train a lot. She used to complain about his singing all of the time.

[kyrene.livejournal.com]

I only remember him singing Happy Birthday :D

[xjustquietx.livejournal.com]

I remember someone similar. I usually got him on the C line, though. He had little bits, and he'd do stand up (sit down? drive-by?) comedy. The jokes were usually terrible but everyone couldn't help but smile. They usually had some electrical theme and he'd end it with, "what do you expect? I'm a conductor!" He'd only sing at Kenmore.

[danger-chick.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't really know which line. I just know that my friend who rode the green line complained about him.

[clevernonsense.livejournal.com]

That's a recording, not the T driver :)

(didn't you notice that it would repeat every couple minutes?)

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

I can't tell if you're joking. No, it's definitely not a recording, and it didn't repeat.
This guy has said other amusing things, and none of them were recordings either, far as I was aware.

[clevernonsense.livejournal.com]

hmmm...I have heard that EXACT speech, and it repeated a couple times during the trip. It sounded very much like a recording to me.

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

Huh. It's certainly possible, I guess. Haven't heard it before or since, and riding the same trains every day, I'd figure I would.

[kristinhaze.livejournal.com]

Really? I heard it too once riding between Davis and JFK/UMASS - but it was only said once in the stretch of time. Ah, well!

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

I mean I've heard "Please stand clear of the doors," but that was very clearly a recording. I have a hard time believing they'd record this guy's jaunty announcement.

[clevernonsense.livejournal.com]

Maybe it actually is a guy who talks like a recording and uses the same line whenever he sees someone leaning against the door.

I just assumed it was a recording--he sounded an awful lot like one of the NYC Subway recorded voices.

OMG NO, HE SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE MASSACHUSETTS TELEFILE VOICE

[catskillz.livejournal.com]

Once on the Green Line at Kenmore Square, the train was ridiculously packed due to a Red Sox game. The conductor announced, "Please do not block the doors or we will speak to you in a demeaning manner using words unbecoming to our species." :D

Plus there was the one time on the 39 bus during some shuttling issues where the bus driver kept prefacing all of his announcements with "This is your captain speaking ...."

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Meh. I never get any funny bus drivers, only boring ones or the occasional driver who makes snotty racist comments.

[talonvaki.livejournal.com]

Once, on a lovely day, the train pulled into Charles Station, and the driver said, "Okay, people. Everyone look out the window. It's a beautiful day! Now, look at the person next to you, and smile at them." That was awesome.

I had another Red Line driver, once, who did the, "Please return your seatbacks and tray tables to their upright and locked positions. We know you have a choice in transportation, and we thank you for flying MBTA." I don't know how long he went on, as I had to change to the Green Line...but he was awesome.

Then, last night, there was "police action" at Ashmont, so all the trains were Braintree trains and there were shuttle buses. From Porter to Park Street, the guy would announce that "Due to police action earlier at Ashmont, all southbound trains this evening are Braintree trains only. Repeat, this is a Braintree train. If you are looking to go to Ashmont, get on this train and take a shuttle from JFK/UMass."

Then, at Park Street, the train stopped for a moment, and the announcement didn't happen. Then we heard him, sounding very annoyed: "Ladies and gentlemen, we really apologise for the inconvenience...but the police action at Ashmont is over, and this is now an Ashmont train. Repeat, this is NOT a Braintree train. This train is going to Ashmont."

You could tell he was pissed at the people above him for making him look (sound) like an idiot...it was pretty funny.

[magid.livejournal.com]

Excellent choice of usericon!

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was on the Red Line going home, and it was absolutely insane, people-wise.

I have to say, that's the first time I've ever heard them use the phrase "police action!"

This was the same guy that said what I quoted initially.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

"police action"? What, like in Vietnam? (Actually, the "police action" was likely the fatal shooting at Savin Hill.)

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

It was a fight that ended up at Field's Corner where someone fell on the 3rd rail, at least according to this morning's Metro. A shot may have been fired, but it seems like the victim was electrocuted.

[magid.livejournal.com]

I was on the Green Line on Father's Day, and the announcer congratulated all the dads on the train.

And once while stuck in Park Street, already on the train, an announcement came on that this train was going to do what it does best: standing by.

[jadelennox]

Back in the late '80s, when I had to take the green line, there was a green line conductor who sang the stops. Also I remember one who would announce the scores of the Red Sox games.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

You could sing the stops on the Red Line, except the Tom Lehrer song is a bit out of date at this point.

"HCKCPW"....

[slomotionwalter.livejournal.com]

Once, taking one of the last C trains to Coolidge Corner, the driver told us, "Next stop, Kenmore. For anyone leaving the train at Kenmore..................................................We'll miss you." Then he proceeded to sing, "If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me."

He also told us, "When leaving the train, be sure to take all bags, packages, and other personal belongings with you because I have enough cool stuff at home."

[gookalockgeek.livejournal.com]

I've had him before!!

[spatch]

My favorite was the Blue Line driver who used to sing "Aquaaaaarium! AH-QUAAR-III-UMMMMMM!" like he was auditioning for Hair.

[aslant.livejournal.com]

The guy who announces commuter/amtrak trains at South Station is always hilarious. He emphasizes the track numbers as if he's super bored and talking to toddlers, I've heard him do this late at night before. Always very exaggerated.

[cowgrrl.livejournal.com]

That guy is hilarious! :)

[ceo]

Is that the "AAAAAAAUUUUUUU-BUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNN-DAAAAAAAAAAAALE!!!" guy?

[antimony.livejournal.com]

Hee! I've heard him -- the "wooooostah, fraaaaamingham, looooocal, now boooooarding on track number eeeeeeeeight."

[miraclaire.livejournal.com]

I was on that train on Monday... I heard him say that and then I recognized his voice on Wednesday morning too (he didn't say anything funny though)

[rdcf.livejournal.com]

I know the exact driver you're talking about.

My favorite was a female announcer who once screwed up some announcer and she started laughing and said something like sorry folks, it's Monday morning. Everyone laughed. I like when they do stuff like that.

[joyfulkel.livejournal.com]

when i first moved here i used to commute from allston to quincy every day, and there was a female b-line driver that had a little parting monolouge when we got to park street thanking us for riding her train and hoping we had a pleasant day.

it was kinda sweet.

this post reminds me why i love this town :)

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

I'm glad so many people contributed - as much as people bitch about the T, there's some good parts too.

Red Line, late 1980s

[tokyotime.livejournal.com]

Long time listener, first-time caller (OK, OK, a friend forwarded this link to me). I had a Red Line driver once way back when I lived in Boston (1986-88) who, as we pulled into Park Street station, called out, "Next stop, Park Street! Change here for the *Green* line, *Orange* line, *Blue* line, *Pink* line, *Yellow* line, *Purple* line, *White* line, *Black* line!"

[frequentlylate.livejournal.com]

down the blue line, I got a driver (a couple times, same guy) who would give a funny little historical schpiel for each of the stops, going out to wonderland. a few musical interludes, as well.

fun and educational. :)

[enochs-fable.livejournal.com]

Now that is cool.

My friend said he heard

[elbren]

'
I think I heard the same guy. That's a good one; mine was a bit less
succinct, but also entertained me. Whoever it was on my train, he gave
a normal, if embellished "Take all your personal belongings with you
when you leave the train. This includes newspapers, coffee cups, and
your other trash; please deposit these in the barrels on the platform
as you leave." When we got to a station further down the line he
said: "Take your newspapers, coffee cups, and trash and deposit it in
the barrels on the platform when you get off the train. Also take any
yankees parephenalia with you and deposit them in the trash barrels."
'

Re: My friend said he heard

[poshlife.livejournal.com]

Along the same lines...
I was on the B line one day, and at Copley, the driver said "Please be sure to take all your belongings...this includes any newspapers, bags, coffee cups, and/or small children..." in his best robotic announcer voice.

That made me smile.

[pianodr.livejournal.com]

It's too bad we can't get any comments from actual T drivers! Somehow I doubt that MBTA emplyoees use LJ. Anyone?