OH IT IS A CONTEST

[spatch]

Seeing as how Davis Square's Worst Escalator (the platform-to-turnstiles T escalator closest to College Ave) is now fixed after like two or three weeks, I have a suspicious feeling that it's just gonna break down again. The darn thing couldn't stay working for three days in a row all winter.

So I hereby propose a contest, and I shall name it Squishy

No, I shall name it

DAVIS SQUARE'S WORST ESCALATOR BUSTIFICATION ICE CREAM HOEDOWN


This contest is very simple! All you have to do is guess the day in the next week when that horrible escalator will break down. My commute mandates I use the T station every weekday any time from 8:30 to 9:30 AM, and again from 6:00 to 7:00 PM. Now if I personally observe that our favorite bad boy is indeed not in operation, or see that it's broken on mbta.com, the first five people who chose that day will win ice cream!

You heard me right! ICE CREAM! A $5 gift certificate to JP Licks, in fact. That's right, I'm givin away $25 worth of ice cream because of a busted-ass escalator. It's just one more thing I can cross off my Life List of Things To Do. If you don't like ice cream or can't eat ice cream or won't go into JP Licks because they rotated the counters inside and you just can't take it or whatever, well then you can give the gift certificate to a friend, or make it into a nice origami swan, or stick it in your bike spokes to make a rad motorcycle sound, hell, I don't know.

THERE ARE RULES OF COURSE

1. Only one entry per sentient carbon-based life form. I don't care if the voices in your head and LJ sock puppets have to duke it out to see who gets to vote, but only one of them gets to. So make for the Thunderdome already.

2. I am the judge! If I see it broke, it's broke! Additionally, brokenness can also be corroborated and verified by the Busted Crap We Can't Be Bothered To Fix list on mbta.com so I will also check it throughout the day. That counts as a win, too.

3. No tampering with the escalator to break it or shut it down in order to rig the contest! Keep your feet away from the emergency stop button, Eugene!

4. SPECIAL BONUS OPTION: If the escalator is already broken by 8:30 on Monday morning, I'll consider it broken OVER THE WEEKEND. That means there's an extra option to pick!

5. If for some reason I call in sick for a day, I shall keep checking mbta.com while being in sick. I don't expect to be in sick.

6. Only the platform-to-turnstiles escalator on the College Ave side of the station counts. If any other escalator breaks, we don't win.

7. If the escalator actually remains working for the entire working week, WE ALL WIN! We just don't win ice cream. We win a working escalator.

OKAY SOMERVILLE GET READY TO PICK

[Poll #719065]


Sponsored in part by your good friends at Abbie The Cat Worldwide Enterprises, Makers of Entropy since 1997

OH IT IS A LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This contest is not sanctioned, endorsed, or even known about by the MBTA, JP Licks, the moderators of this community (well they know now), mbta.com, the guys at Park Street who play old-timey songs on the banjo or tuba (they're awesome) or Major League Baseball. All results are final. No refunds, exchanges or substitutions. Yes, I'm serious. Consult a physician before using. Don't cross the streams. Contents under pressure may explode. Man, you're so lucky I just hit manic tonight. If you eat the ice cream too fast you might get an ice cream headache. Wake me up before you go-go, cause I'm not planning on going solo. MBTA Fun-Time Train Wash playset and MBTA Talkie T train sold separately. There are 48 states, see? And if there wasn't interstate commerce, nothing could go from one state to another, see?! Stick your elbow out too far, it'll go home in another car. Hi Mom!

Comments

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

Careful. That can cause hairy palms and blindness.