Gaze aversion, and a jogger's rant

[zmgmeister.livejournal.com]

So, i've been noticing something funny people do when i pass by. Around here, a few people might look at you, and most people go quietly about their business. Other joggers are cool. But once in a while you get someone who pointedly turns their head away, like they're expecting you to do something awful.

Has anybody else noticed this? I know this is Boston and don't expect people to smile at strangers, but it looks like the other person is actively trying to be rude, rather than invisible. I'm originally from around here, and maintain a pretty large "personal space" bubble, but this is beyond me.

I would understand it if I was getting in their space or gazing at someone, but this is when im like 30 feet away, looking at the world through my peripheral vision.

Comments

[crs.livejournal.com]

Welcome to New England...

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

What he said. Personally, I've never noticed any sort of weird reaction to my running versus my walking. IME, the runners here are also less likely to make eye contact than in other cities, although it's still more likely than when walking.

The highest odds of a greeting come on the trail, which I've found to be true world-wide. Even so, the Japanese were more likely than Bostontians to strike up a conversation on the trail, and we didn't even speak the same language!

[chenoameg.livejournal.com]

My father (born in Boston and never moved far from it; proud that he's never been West of the Mississippi) thinks jogging -- for that matter any public exercise-- disgustingly exhibitionist.

So by his definition you are doing something awful. What age are the people who look away?

[spatch]

Some folks complain when people stare at 'em when they're jogging.
Other folks complain that people look away when they're jogging.

For some reason, this amuses and comforts me on some grand philosophical level.

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

I know I was offended when I went running Thursday, went right through a group of construction workers, and did not receive a single hoot. I think that means I'm old.

[docorion.livejournal.com]

Well, I saw you running the other day-I meant to hoot, but it somehow turned into a "Hi!" instead. Should I hoot next time? :-)

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

Well, that all depends on what you want me to think. :)

[beowabbit]

Well, I hooted, but I’m all the way down here in Quincy; if you had headphones on, maybe you didn’t hear me.

[clevernonsense.livejournal.com]

Are you really funny looking or creepy? :)

I never understood these theories of people from this area being unfriendly or rude. In general I find it to be quite the opposite.

Maybe you are only bumping into members of the b0st0n community?

[larksdream]

Same here. I've found about the same mix of friendly and un- as anywhere else, maybe even a little friendlier. Heck, once a townie helpfully pointed out I was feeding a meter I didn't need to be feeding-- now that's friendly. *g*

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

I think that people confuse "rude" with something like "introverted" or "conscious of personal space". New Englanders do seem relatively unlikely to strike up conversations with strangers, or smile broadly at all and sundry. Some people will see that lack-of-overt-friendliness as rude. Personally, though I like the occasional serendipitous encounter, I like my personal space a lot and appreciate people not being in it ;). I think that people who thank bus drivers or help obviously confused tourists navigate or provide competent customer service are plenty polite enough for me.

[two-stabs.livejournal.com]

People are social retards, shrinking flowers, and in the Davis area often wildly sensitive. Just maintain your own cool, and you'll be the winner among single-serving passers-by.

[iamcoreyd.livejournal.com]

I often pretend not to notice shirtless runners. I don't want to be caught gawking!

[vectorvillain.livejournal.com]

I second the --Shall not be caught gawking-- impulse. I'd suspect that the gaze averter in question is trying to resist a hormonally charged version of -- Oh Shiny!--

regardless of jogging

[bgum.livejournal.com]

While walking I get this; I don't think it's related to jogging. Most people refuse to make eye contact, walking, jogging or biking, and if I try to make eye contact, usually they respond by obviously intentionally turning away (this includes casual acquaintances). That I consider rude, and haven't noticed it as much in non-urban areas.

However, someone wrote to the Somerville News blog that it's a yuppie thing, that people who are working class and have lived their whole lives here do make eye contact.

Refuse to make eye contact?

[lizzyclean.livejournal.com]

I know that when and if I look away from a person coming towards me it's because I'm feeling shy, especially if it's a member of the opposite sex who I find to be attractive. It's some weirdo impulse that I can't explain. Sometimes I'm feeling crappy that day and just don't feel like looking at anyone. And sometimes there are just so many dang people walking by (for example, just after the T comes in at Davis) that I don't want to have to smile at every single person I see. I'd rather just space out to my music or my own thoughts.
I've also spent plenty of time in other cities, like Seattle for example. And it's not like everyone is smiling and waving at everyone else there either. Or in New York. Or San Fran. Or at Disney World. Or London. Or in Switzerland.

So, I wouldn't assume people are "refusing" to make eye contact, which would imply mean-spiritedness, but it could be any number of reasons, most of which are innocent! Maybe people are busy conjugating verbs in their heads and need to concentrate! Maybe they are trying to puzzle out some crossword clue as they walk. Who knows? I think people mistake shy or absorbed in thought as "cold" too often.

What I refuse to believe is that people here are unfriendly! We are out on the streets and we like you! So there!

[autumnsshadow.livejournal.com]

i've noticed that people in the northeast are generally fairly cold to people they don't know. i don't think it's a rudeness per-se, but people in the Boston area also tend to be full of themselves - myself included at times, so i can say so...sadly.

[ceo]

I've found a great way to cause people to make eye contact and smile: carry a happy extroverted toddler in a backpack. (Strollers don't work as well, as the kid isn't up at grownup eye level.)