two-stabs.livejournal.comI want to thank...
the dog walkers who reliably block the cedar street bike path with leashes strung like Shelob's web. Also appreciated are their glassy, uncomprehending stares as I slow my bicycle to a near-stop to avoid catching Fluffy in my spokes. And I love dogs.
Thanks to the irresponsible moms with their ICBM-style children who love to play chicken with my bike as I commute to work each morning. There's really nothing like a little potential toddlercide in the morning to pull off the wool.
Thank you to the drivers that rev their engine and cut to the right to squeeze me into parked cars, because, well, presumably you just can't tolerate the idea that I'm making progress on the road while you're stuck in a jam. Additionally, thank you when I sneak past you anyway and you lean on the horn for ten seconds because I kicked off of your bumper.
Thanks to the state legislators bravely fighting the good fight to require cyclists to purchase insurance and attach license plates to their bicycles. I look forward to the day when we have to register and pay tax on each pair of shoes.
Finally, a big general thank you to everyone who's ever stolen my lights, stolen my seat, stolen my bike, mangled my wheel, stepped directly out in front of me, threw a plastic bottle at my head, heaved a shovelful of snow directly into my path, let the air out of my tires, stuck a stick in my spokes, pulled their car directly in front of me and stopped, hit me in the face with their double-wide umbrella, screamed in my ear as I rode by, plowed into me head on at 2 am on 9/11/10 while I had the right of way and then sped away, or locked another lock around my bicycle as a prank, to everyone who simply failed to recognize the fact that people are fragile and your road rage is not a legitimate excuse to endanger the lives of people who are just trying to make their way around their city.
OK. Thanks. I feel better.