What good's a protest without a song?

[spatch]

There've been many songs written about the eternal triangle. This one tells the story of a Mr Jonmon, a LiveJournal community and a moderatin' man named Ron Newman. When the sun rises tomorrow, Ron Newman... will be served.

Hang down your head, Ron Newman
Hang down your head and brood
Hang down your head, Ron Newman
Oh boy, we've all been sued.

We read it on the LJ
This Jonmon had been bad
Read it on the LJ
And there we laughed like mad.

Hang down your head, Ron Newman
Hang down your head and brood
Hang down your head, Ron Newman
Who knew this was a feud?

We forgot about it all, then
We let three whole years pass
We got on with our lives, then
We're put on by this ass.

Hang down your head, Ron Newman
The one who was least rude
Hang down your head, Ron Newman
Yet he thinks you're the dude.

Trouble, oh there's trouble
For all Does, Jane and John
He sent us all nice letters
Some found him on their lawn.

Hang down your head, Ron Newman
Hang down your head subdued
Hang down your head, Ron Newman
Oh boy, we've all been sued.

This time tomorrow
Reckon where we'll be
Prob'ly banding together
As one weird family.

Keep your head up, Ron Newman
Keep your head up this time
Keep your head up, Ron Newman
Jonmon won't see a dime.

PS THIS IS ALL TOTALLY COPYRIGHT ME WHICH MEANS YOU CAN'T COPY IT OR POST IT OR REPOST IT OR PROBABLY EVEN LOOK AT IT WITHOUT MY CONSENT, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE AN INVASION OF PRIVACY AND PRIVACY IS VERY IMPORTANT WHEN IT'S MY OWN.

Comments

[sovay]

Excellent choice of icon.

[benndragon.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness. Never piss off a filker. <3

[tikva.livejournal.com]

I LURVE YOU FOOPEEE!

[myselftheliar.livejournal.com]

This is so beautiful.

[myselftheliar.livejournal.com]

If it were not 3am I'd bust out the ukulele immediately!!

[ratatosk.livejournal.com]

Wow!

My only comment to the original thread three years ago was that it would all be better as a musical, which for some reason did not get me sued. I have, however, been reminding people of this fact, including derspatchel. I'd like to say at least someone listened to me, but I'll hold out for a big opening number.

[hahathor.livejournal.com]

I made a mix CD in his honor (http://zenrunningorder.org/index.php?option=com_zeromix&task=ViewMix&Itemid=9&mixID=1666"). Surprisingly, I haven't received a letter from his lawyer. Perhaps because the mix write-up doesn't mention him by name (though it does point to the news article that started all this).

[tikva.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty brilliant mix CD. Well done!

[hahathor.livejournal.com]

Given your (awesome) icon, you might also enjoy this mix (http://www.artofthemix.org/FindAMix/getcontents2.aspx?strMixID=107960).

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

Oh...my. *does the cat thing with tilting the head and blinking*

I'm about to lose a whole lot of time to this web site, aren't I.

(oh, and the mix is brilliant.)

[hahathor.livejournal.com]

Sadly the site is no longer active. It started getting hacked with viruses, and the folks running it (who were doing it as a labor of love) decided it wasn't worth the effort of keeping it clean. I traded a LOT of mixes with folks while it was going, and made a lot of friends (a fair number of whom I've met in person while traveling) there. I got turned on to an insane amount of good music. I probably should put some of my better mixes up on MixCloud.

[imsorrysondheim.livejournal.com]

You asked for an opening number? I'm happy to oblige :-)

(With thanks to my beta reader who has asked to remain anonymous)

Attend the tale of Johnny Mon
His hair was lank and his skin was wan.
He chilled the discourse of young women
Who never thereafter were heard of again
He's drawn the ire that few have drawn
Did Johnny Mon
The demon stalker of Elm Street

He kept a wheel in Porter Square
A lure of little artistic flair.
His feelings were hurt; the Does were lewd
They went to the courthouse haphazardly sued
By Johnny
By Johnny Mon
The Demon Stalker of Elm Street

Cast your lawsuits wide
Johnny. You will win no prize
All the Does you will depose ignore your cries

His needs were few, he had no room
To sleep on a sofa was his doom.
A house of kink and a startup game,
A vampire, a matchup, all this to his shame.
In malice he went after Ron
did Johnny Mon
The Demon Stalker of Elm Street

Adversarial Johnny was
Vulgar and vicious and vile 'e was
Back of his smile under his word
Johnny heard music that nobody heard
Johnny strutted and Johnny spammed
Half-baked letters our Johnny spammed
Johnny was proud, Johnny was pervy
Johnny would blink and rats would scurry

Attend the tale of Johnny Mon
He served them papers but he was wrong
What happened then has copyright
And he wouldn't want us bring it to light
Not Johnny
Not Johnny Mon
The Demon Stalker of Elm Street

[jducoeur]

Bravo!

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

Oooo. Besides being awesome, this version is easier to sing--for the high sopranos, at least. ('SWEEEEEENEEEEEEE' on a high C or whatever it is is no one's favorite thing.) Brav@.

[bluesauce.livejournal.com]

This is amazing.

[srakkt.livejournal.com]

We all love you, Spatch.

In a very real, carnal, and legally-binding sense.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

I approve this message.

[nonelvis]

*applauds*

(for which I'll probably get sued later, but whatever)

[redcolumbine.livejournal.com]

Brilliant!

[jedi.livejournal.com]

Bravo. lol

[cos]

My browser had already copied this song and saved a copy in a cache file somewhere on my computer, before I read the message at the bottom! Will you write a song for me when you sue me for this?

[mackelzinzie.livejournal.com]

I can imagine you bouncing when you say that.

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

*is not worthy*

[moria923.livejournal.com]

Great job, Spatch!

(By the way, what's the icon everyone's raving about?)

[ifotismeni]

for anyone who might not know the song this references, here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhXuO4Gz3Wo

(i grew up listening to the kingston trio thanks to a mom who is a huge fan!! nice job spatch :D)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

*standing applause*

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I'm singing it!

[geekpixie.livejournal.com]

Epic.

[houseboatonstyx.livejournal.com]

Doesn't Charlie on the MTA deserve a voice here, too?

[infinitemorning.livejournal.com]

It does. Let me see...

(With apologies to Jacqueline Steiner, Bess Lomax Hawes, and the Kingston Trio. And possibly also the reader. But no apologies to JonMon, because this is parody, and my own opinion, and if you think it's remotely actionable, I refer you to the doctrine of Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum.)

These are the times that try men's souls. In the course of our nation's history, the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of man have been threatened. Today, a new crisis has arisen. Jonathan Monsarrat, better known as JonMon or that damn creephat, is attempting to file a burdensome suit against Ron Newman and the Davis 100. Citizens, hear me out! This could happen to you.

Well, let me tell you the story
Of a man named JonMon
An asshat of ill repute
He got butthurt over LJ
Waited three whole years and then
He filed some dumbass suit

JonMon filed his ravings
Down at the old courthouse
Thinking this time, he'd surely win
But instead of silence,
All he got was the whole Web
Digging up his every sin

But will he ever prevail?
No, he'll never prevail
No matter how he may moan or wail
He may file forever
In the courts of Boston
He's the man who'll never prevail

Now, JonMon had done this
Once or twice before
Maybe he thought it'd work again
But his first mistake
Was going after Ron Newman
'Cause you don't screw with our friends

But will he ever prevail?
No, he'll never prevail
His whole case is full of fail
He may file forever
In the courts of Boston
He's the man who'll never prevail

Let's give the man this:
He'll never sit idle
When he's got creepy shit to do
So he sent out some letters
Made some dumbass phone calls
Maybe stalked a defendant or two

But will he ever prevail?
No, he'll never prevail
If he keeps this up, he'll land in jail
He may file forever
In the courts of Boston
He's the man who'll never prevail

He can come to our houses
He can talk to our families
He can call us at our work
But we won't be bullied
And we'll never be silenced
By some pompous, litigious jerk

But will he ever prevail?
No, he'll never prevail
And he won't make us turn tail
He may file forever
In the courts of Boston
He's the man who'll never prevail

Now you citizens of Boston,
Don't you think it's a scandal
That JonMon thinks he can make us pay?
Turn the law against him!
Get Ron Newman some counsel!
Keep this bullshit lawsuit away!

Or else he may still prevail
But he can never prevail
'Cause this is bullying under any veil
Tell the courts not to gag us
'Cause of frivolous suits
Don't ever let JonMon prevail

But will he ever prevail?
No, he'll never prevail
And forever we'll mock his tale
He may file forever
In the courts of Boston
He's the man who'll never prevail

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

*applauds wlldly*

At this point we've got three songs, plus a tag of "Alice's Restaurant". It really is a movement,

[cos]

... or at least, enough for a themed filk block at the next con.